i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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