Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
