I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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