He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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