If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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