He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize