why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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