i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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