Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
