they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
