I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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