Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
