anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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