I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
