Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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