you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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