Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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