Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
