Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
