Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
