Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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