i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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