32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My balls are so social today.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
