I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
