I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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