my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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