I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
