Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
