Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
