some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
