the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I faked an abortion last night.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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