Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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