He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
