i think my tv is drunk
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
