i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
