This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
