Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
