What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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