and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
