It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
