yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
should my penis look like a turkey
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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