My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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