So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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