Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
