im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
