If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
