Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
