this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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