so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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