You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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