I accidentally burped into my bong.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Someone came in the potted fern
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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