Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize