we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
