Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
