Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
