R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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