It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
