whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
oh god the rape fog is back!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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