around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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