I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
