Plan B is the new Plan A
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
